Darius
“I don’t believe that the course of an individual’s life is set in stone and cannot be changed.”
I am a nuclear physicist.
When I was a student at university, I was fascinated by the beauty of the subatomic world. I could forget myself for hours in the lab, trying to understand the laws of physics that govern that mysterious world.
Surprisingly, as I began to understand the physical world more fully, I started to learn more about myself. I felt an increasing interest in the dynamics of human relationships. What are its governing laws? I wanted to know why humans are so unique. We are not just revolving particles in nature, are we? Perhaps my physics knowledge could help me to understand more about this mystery?
I like observing people while I sit on a bench in the park or in a café on the street while drinking my coffee. Perhaps I am in a crowded Brussels metro en route to my work. I am curious to know what these people are thinking about, how they see the world surrounding them, and how they feel about it. One thing is certain; they see and experience the world differently compared to how I see and feel it. How is their unique internal world of thoughts, beliefs and feelings built? What is their life story?
My attention has always been drawn to couples. Unlike the two particles entangled by the laws of quantum physics, these two people are connected by subtle and far more complex links in the real world. How did they meet? What happened at the moment when they decided to live their lives together and form a couple? At times, I see them looking at each other, smiling. Only they know what is making them smile ... for me as an outsider, the secret is hidden like the space behind the horizon of the black hole in the centre of our galaxy. I have always found the link between couples mysterious and beautiful! But sometimes I observe partners that look detached from each other. Are they unhappy? Did something go wrong? Were they unable to sustain the love they felt at the beginning? Did the light that shone out from the moment of their acquaintance go out? But, perhaps, it is not too late to recalibrate all that? For a physicist, time is only an illusion! The source of this couple’s love is still there, initially unlocked by mysterious laws of nature unknown to me.
I am still in the metro and it has come to my stop. I have to get off. In my mind, I wish the couple courage and the clarity of vision that will enable them to break through the barriers between them and to clear all clouds in their world.
I reject the idea of fatalism in human affairs and I don’t believe that the course of an individuals’ life is set in stone and cannot be changed. Even a quantum particle's path cannot be determined with full certainty!
Mary Catherine
“It is often said that the quality of our relationships determines our level of happiness in life. I am always intrigued by this idea.”
I am a creative writer in Ireland.
I am often struck by the fact that life is not long, and it is to our advantage to deal with the problems that block happiness in our relationships.
During my evening walks, I sometimes stand on the local 18th century stone bridge spanning the River Dodder, and I watch the glistening leaves spinning and twisting in the whirlpools of the water’s current. No one knows where they go or what happens to them. Do they stay together?
They have already gone beyond the limits of my vision. I continue on my way. Perhaps we often feel like those leaves, carried away by the relentless currents of life.
But, unlike the leaves, we have choices to make in determining our destiny in the stream of human existence.
It is often said that the quality of our relationships determines our level of happiness in life. I am always intrigued by this idea. It means we have control of our future with others. While offering a little toolkit for addressing issues in a partnership, I also wanted to include many enjoyable and relaxing aspects of living in this book. I am drawn to the Japanese idea of forest bathing, the ancient art of aromatherapy, and staying close to nature in preparing our cuisine.
I wanted the reader of this creative writing to feel free to cook with Adele and John, to walk through beautiful landscapes that I was imagining, and to rest in gardens full of the scents that I created.
The goal for me as a creative writer is to give the reader the impression that they are actually listening in to John and Adele’s conversations and following their adventures. This is what gives me as a writer a true sense of satisfaction; that the visions in my imagination come to life for our reader.
If we can bring to life our own aspirations, while remaining true to our values in partnership with someone else, or, of course, achieving happiness and fulfillment on our own, we are indeed embarking on a magical journey in life.
Marija
“We can never overestimate the importance of honest, sincere, and direct communication between people. This is in my view the first step towards a deep and intimate relationship.”
This evening it is only me, just Marija, standing on the Hill of Three Crosses in the centre of my lovely city of Vilnius. The rays of the setting sun are caressing the red roofs of the old turreted buildings in this historic city. The whole town is bathing in a soft palette of coral, rose, amber, and apricot light.
This sunset reminds me of the summers of my childhood, visiting my grandparents in the village beyond the town, still surrounded by thick forest. During those calm and mysterious evenings in nature, I wondered what I would be when I grew up: A dancer? A gardener? A famous traveller?
A decade later, when I had finished secondary school, my dreams became more practical. In trying to plan my future, I considered two career paths. I thought of becoming a psychologist, or perhaps a lawyer. I loved reading, and I was especially drawn to books on psychology, in particular those describing theories of how our personalities develop. But psychology was a rather new academic field in Vilnius University at that time, and so the law prevailed. For the next few years I plunged into the study of the legal rules and codes that governed our society.
But my interest in the complexity of human nature and our relationships has never left me. This interest pushed me from a career concerned with paperwork and legal administration towards a job in which I was more engaged with people. I accepted a post managing a team of lawyers, and then qualified as a life coach.
However, my legal work has taught me much about the power of words. They have the capacity to make us feel valued and loved, or they spark condemnation and insult. They can hurl us into an abyss of despair or elevate us into a joyful paradise.
I like putting my thoughts and feelings into a journal, as well as writing letters to my friends. Sometimes it can take me a full hour to write a simple postcard. But when I finally get it into the envelope, I feel sure that the message I wanted to get across to my friend will be well-received.
We can never overestimate the importance of honest, sincere, and direct communication between people. This is in my view the first step towards the kind of deep and intimate relationship with another human being that everyone is longing to have in their life. Building this kind of relationship takes time, effort, and strong, sustained involvement. Are we ready for that commitment? Is it still worth it for us to persevere in this relationship journey? Does this slow and unpredictable trek up the mountain have any meaning in our modern everyday life that offers quick solutions for our pop up needs? Are we ready to face the unknown in ourselves and in other people?
My answer to all of these questions is ‘Yes’. I love adventure, and this sort of journey inspires me to go on.
I believe that self-knowledge is the goal set before us, in the life of every human being. If, in the course of our search for self-knowledge, we happen to come across someone we wish to understand and to know in a more profound way, someone with whom we can share our inner world, then we are very lucky.
This is a magical gift that the universe is offering to you, and I hope that you choose to accept it.